Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Holy sore nipples Batman
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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