I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
