I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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