Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
