If i come over, it means nothing
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize