Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
