if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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