Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
