did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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