I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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