Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
