Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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