Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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