You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
