Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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