the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
