I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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