Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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