so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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