so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I would fuck him just for his dog
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
