An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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