Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You smell like stripper and shame
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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