plz talk dirty to me
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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