omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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