Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
