arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
