Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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