my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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