i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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