you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
