He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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