I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
