dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
