I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
