Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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