Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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