sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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