i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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