mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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