Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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