So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
