he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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