she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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