i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
