im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
