Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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