Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
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