Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
