I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
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I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
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I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize