dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
