Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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