Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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