I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
