Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
