I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
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Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
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you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize