yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize