The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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