Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
