is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
