Swine flu. Run for my life!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
